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Hãy yêu thương kẻ thù của mình, hãy làm ơn cho những người ghen ghét anh em

Yêu là nhìn thấy

17/8/2020

“Nhưng Tôi nói cho anh em hay, hãy yêu thương kẻ thù của mình, hãy làm ơn cho những người ghen ghét anh em” (Lc 6, 27).

Khi yêu, bạn bỗng thấy mình nhìn người khác với cặp mắt mới; bạn trở nên quảng đại, dễ tha thứ, tốt bụng, đang khi đó trước đây bạn có thể rất cứng cỏi và hẹp hòi. Và chắc chắn người khác cũng bắt đầu phản ứng đối với bạn tương tự như thế, bỗng chốc bạn thấy mình như đang sống trong một thế giới yêu thương do chính mình tạo ra.

Hoặc bạn thử nhớ lại lúc bạn bực mình, bạn thấy mình trở nên dễ nóng giận, hẹp hòi, hay nghi ngờ, thậm chí chẳng tin ai. Thế rồi, bạn nhớ rằng ai ai cũng phản đối với bạn một cách tiêu cực như thế và bạn thấy mình như đang sống trong một thế giới thù nghịch do chính đầu óc và tình cảm của mình tạo ra.

Làm thế nào có thể xây dựng một thế giới hạnh phúc, yêu thương và bình an? Bằng cách học lấy nghệ thuật sau đây, tuy đơn sơ đẹp đẽ nhưng rất đau đớn, đó là nghệ thuật nhìn. Nghệ thuật ấy như sau:

  1. Mỗi khi bạn thấy mình nổi nóng hay giận dữ ai, con người mà lúc ấy bạn phải nhìn không phải là người kia mà là chính bạn. Câu hỏi mà lúc ấy bạn phải hỏi không phải là “Người ấy có điều gì sai?”, mà là “Thái độ giận dữ ấy cho tôi biết mình thế nào?”.

Bây giờ hãy thử làm như thế. Hãy nghĩ tới người đã từng chọc tức bạn và hãy nói với mình câu này – tuy đau nhưng sẽ giải cứu bạn: “Nguyên nhân khiến tôi tức giận không phải do người này mà do chính tôi”. Sau khi tự nhủ như thế, bạn bắt đầu tra vấn mình xem mình đã gây ra sự bực tức ấy thế nào.

  1. Trước hết hãy tìm hiểu khả năng sau đây: sở dĩ những khiếm khuyết hay những cái được cho là khiếm khuyết của người ấy lại làm bạn bực mình, đó chính là vì chính bạn cũng có những khuyết điểm ấy. Nhưng bạn đã đè nén chúng và vì thế đã vô thức phóng chiếu lên người kia.

Đây là điều hầu như luôn luôn đúng, nhưng ít có ai nhìn nhận. Thế nên, hãy tìm kiếm những khuyết điểm của người kia nơi chính lòng mình và nơi vô thức của mình. Bạn sẽ thay đổi từ bực mình sang biết ơn và nhờ phản ứng của người ấy mà bạn phát hiện ra chính mình.

  1. Sau đây là một điều nữa rất đáng quan sát: Phải chăng bạn bực mình với những gì người này nói hoặc làm, là bởi vì nhờ những lời nói và phản ứng của người ấy mà bạn nhìn ra một điều nào đó trong cuộc sống và trong con người mình, mà xưa nay mình không chịu nhìn?

Thử nghĩ xem người ta sẽ trở nên tức giận đối với các nhà thần bí và ngôn sứ như thế nào, khi họ không có gì là thần bí hay ngôn sứ với những lời nói và việc làm của họ đang thách thức chúng ta.

  1. Một điều khác nữa cũng rất rõ: bạn trở nên tức giận với người này vì người ấy không sống theo những gì bạn chờ đợi, đã được cài đặt trong đầu óc của bạn.

Có thể bạn có quyền yêu cầu người ấy sống theo những gì đã được cài đặt nơi bạn, như phải dữ tợn hay bất công chẳng hạn. Sau đó bạn dừng lại xem xét điều này: nếu tìm cách làm thay đổi người ấy hay tìm cách bắt người ấy thôi không hành động như thế nữa, thì chẳng phải là nỗ lực của bạn sẽ hiệu quả hơn khi bạn không nổi giận?

Giận dữ chỉ làm cho nhận thức của bạn trở nên mù mịt và làm cho hành vi của bạn trở nên kém kết quả.

Ai cũng biết khi một vận động viên hay một võ sĩ quyền anh mất bình tĩnh, ván đấu của họ sẽ kém chất lượng vì nó không còn ăn khớp được nữa do giận quá hay ghét quá. Tuy nhiên, hầu như không bao giờ bạn có quyền đòi người khác phải sống theo mong muốn của mình. Giả như có ai đó ở trong địa vị của bạn phải cư xử như thế mà vẫn không cảm thấy bực mình chút nào. Hãy suy niệm sự thật ấy và bạn sẽ thấy mình hết tức giận.

Thật phi lí khi bắt người khác sống theo những tiêu chí và chuẩn mực mà cha mẹ đã cài đặt nơi đầu óc bạn?

Và đây là sự thật cuối cùng để bạn suy nghĩ. Căn cứ vào gốc gác, kinh nghiệm sống và tình trạng chưa tỉnh ngộ của một người, chúng ta sẽ thấy người ấy không thể không cư xử như thế. Thật chí lí khi nói rằng hiểu ra vấn đề là đã tha thứ.

Nếu bạn thực sự hiểu một người, bạn sẽ có thể nhìn người ấy như một người tàn tật nhưng không bao giờ nhìn người ấy như một kẻ đáng khinh; cơn tức giận của bạn sẽ lập tức biến mất.

Và rồi bạn sẽ đối xử với người ấy bằng tình yêu; người ấy sẽ đáp lại bạn cũng bằng tình yêu. Thế là bạn thấy mình như đang sống trong một thế giới yêu thương do chính bạn tạo ra.

Tác giả: Anthony de Mello, S.J.
Dịch giả: Lm. Phêrô Đặng Xuân Thành
Trích sách: Tiếng gọi yêu thương

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